Bill - thanks for the thought provoking essays. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia thirty years ago. During one of my first visits to a massage therapist I kind of freaked out when she began carefully massaging my feet. I think that I felt that I was not worthy, or that it was too much to ask of a person that they attend to my feet (in the background may have been a vague recollection of the story of Jesus humbling himself by washing his disciples feet). Oddly I had to teach myself to accept the kind attention of these caregivers, the only ones who could offer me any kind of help, even though I was paying them their stipulated fee. I have also had to deal with my reduced "productivity", which has been easier as my coevals have retired - now I can just say I'm "retired"! "Enjoy every sandwich" (Warren Zevon).
Steve, it's so good to hear from you, and thank you for the kind words. My guess is that there is also some significant pain associated with the massage. Illness is transformational; you cannot anticipate who you will become. I ~think~ I've become a better person, but no one can serve as judge in their own case.
Thank you for this lovely and compassionate essay, Bill!
Bill - thanks for the thought provoking essays. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia thirty years ago. During one of my first visits to a massage therapist I kind of freaked out when she began carefully massaging my feet. I think that I felt that I was not worthy, or that it was too much to ask of a person that they attend to my feet (in the background may have been a vague recollection of the story of Jesus humbling himself by washing his disciples feet). Oddly I had to teach myself to accept the kind attention of these caregivers, the only ones who could offer me any kind of help, even though I was paying them their stipulated fee. I have also had to deal with my reduced "productivity", which has been easier as my coevals have retired - now I can just say I'm "retired"! "Enjoy every sandwich" (Warren Zevon).
Steve, it's so good to hear from you, and thank you for the kind words. My guess is that there is also some significant pain associated with the massage. Illness is transformational; you cannot anticipate who you will become. I ~think~ I've become a better person, but no one can serve as judge in their own case.
A very good article. You really elucidated issues.