Bill, giving us a window into your suffering is an act of grace. You're accepting us voluntarily and unconditionally into your world, whether we deserve it or not. Because dying almost always happens behind closed doors in our society, few people ever get to witness what you're going through. Thus they're unprepared when and if disaster strikes in their own lives. I can't speak for the many people who must feel grateful for your profound courage and generosity. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my own heart.
Bill, you are a truly amazing person as well as a writer! You walked your readers carefully and chronologically through three months of immense suffering (and disturbing artwork) without whining, ranting, blaming or self-pity. After going into the depths of human brokenness, you lifted me up with colourful cut-glass beauty and sharing the Eucharist with Kathi. Your double thanksgiving is both a gracious gift and challenge to those of us on the other side of the page: How will we respond to the difficulties in our own lives?
I will continue to pray for you, especially healing sleep (like Lord Rhoop in "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader"), protection from the unknown and blessings in the days ahead.
Bill, we don't know each other. But I have brain cancer and know only snippets of what you are experiencing. I pray for you especially, mixing the surety of what you say about your future with a hope that decline will happen more softly. I also pray for your wife and your children as they carry out their loving compassion for you. I am sure they struggle to maintain stamina and deal with their own grief. May you feel God's presence. Grace and peace. Aimee Patterson
Bill, as always, thank you for the enormity of this, the wholeness of it, the entirety of your being that you share from the various depths of it, now familiar to you but not to all your caring readers.
At several points, you mention pain and fear and suffering. For many years I have wondered whether there is pain or suffering without fear, by which I mean if fear is absent, is whatever pain or suffering one experiences tolerable, by which I can only mean, can we hold onto or feel into the fullness of our being even while enduring pain and suffering if there is no fear?
I suspect the answer is "yes," that fear is an absorbing state, a suffering accelerant, a pain catalyst. To set it down -- were it possible -- perhaps we can be with pain and suffering while not falling into them. That is, by not falling into them, our clutch holds fast to the rest of ourselves. We are not lost.
I hope the word convalescence, while not the same as recovering, conveys some level of comfort and rest and even a sense of contributing, as that is surely what you continue to do, Bill.
It’s hard to read this but thank you. I am just getting over cancer surgery and I have a friend who has inoperable lung cancer. She is terrified what the future looks like. You have captured beautifully what she can expect. Sending loving vibes.
Rose, please do not let your friend leaap to the conclusion that her experience will be like my last three months. Cancer patients expeirence many deaths, and many of them are far easier than what I just survived. I will write about this as soon as I can.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9
Thank you for sharing this so nakedly and openly, Bill, your all too-human suffering and pain, and your uniquely powerful, fathful and indomitable spirit and will.
Bill, you express your painful, insighful and wise, though scary, journey in a way that is such a priviledge to read. Tahnk yo. Thank you for your sharing. I am thinking of you and Kathi and all your family and loved ones. Sending much love x
Bill, giving us a window into your suffering is an act of grace. You're accepting us voluntarily and unconditionally into your world, whether we deserve it or not. Because dying almost always happens behind closed doors in our society, few people ever get to witness what you're going through. Thus they're unprepared when and if disaster strikes in their own lives. I can't speak for the many people who must feel grateful for your profound courage and generosity. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my own heart.
Bill, you are a truly amazing person as well as a writer! You walked your readers carefully and chronologically through three months of immense suffering (and disturbing artwork) without whining, ranting, blaming or self-pity. After going into the depths of human brokenness, you lifted me up with colourful cut-glass beauty and sharing the Eucharist with Kathi. Your double thanksgiving is both a gracious gift and challenge to those of us on the other side of the page: How will we respond to the difficulties in our own lives?
I will continue to pray for you, especially healing sleep (like Lord Rhoop in "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader"), protection from the unknown and blessings in the days ahead.
Bill, we don't know each other. But I have brain cancer and know only snippets of what you are experiencing. I pray for you especially, mixing the surety of what you say about your future with a hope that decline will happen more softly. I also pray for your wife and your children as they carry out their loving compassion for you. I am sure they struggle to maintain stamina and deal with their own grief. May you feel God's presence. Grace and peace. Aimee Patterson
Everyone haas said it beter than I can. But In Quaker speak, "I will hold you in the Light"
I do hope your convalescence exceeds your hopes and that you don't have more months like the last three.
Hello Bill - the experiences you describe are harrowing. I hope for for you an uneventful convalescence.
Bill, there aren't words. Wishing for at least some respite for you. Thanks again for sharing. It matters.
Bill, as always, thank you for the enormity of this, the wholeness of it, the entirety of your being that you share from the various depths of it, now familiar to you but not to all your caring readers.
At several points, you mention pain and fear and suffering. For many years I have wondered whether there is pain or suffering without fear, by which I mean if fear is absent, is whatever pain or suffering one experiences tolerable, by which I can only mean, can we hold onto or feel into the fullness of our being even while enduring pain and suffering if there is no fear?
I suspect the answer is "yes," that fear is an absorbing state, a suffering accelerant, a pain catalyst. To set it down -- were it possible -- perhaps we can be with pain and suffering while not falling into them. That is, by not falling into them, our clutch holds fast to the rest of ourselves. We are not lost.
These are speculations inspired by your post.
I hope the word convalescence, while not the same as recovering, conveys some level of comfort and rest and even a sense of contributing, as that is surely what you continue to do, Bill.
Blessings to and for you and your family.
Ugh. Sounds horrible for you and Kathi- hope you have some goodness/joy moving forward
It’s hard to read this but thank you. I am just getting over cancer surgery and I have a friend who has inoperable lung cancer. She is terrified what the future looks like. You have captured beautifully what she can expect. Sending loving vibes.
Rose, please do not let your friend leaap to the conclusion that her experience will be like my last three months. Cancer patients expeirence many deaths, and many of them are far easier than what I just survived. I will write about this as soon as I can.
Not to worry, she is very sensible unlike me. She also has a MAID in place for when she’s ready.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9
May God bless you with a calm and peaceful recovery from this most recent trauma. You are in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing this so nakedly and openly, Bill, your all too-human suffering and pain, and your uniquely powerful, fathful and indomitable spirit and will.
Bill, you express your painful, insighful and wise, though scary, journey in a way that is such a priviledge to read. Tahnk yo. Thank you for your sharing. I am thinking of you and Kathi and all your family and loved ones. Sending much love x