The Story So Far
A path for reading my journey from the beginning
This substack is a memoir of my cancer journey. Someone asked me how they could read that story from the beginning. Here is a partial table of contents; I have committed some posts that no longer interest me. And somehow, I failed to arrange it in chronological order.
I Have Serious News started as The Cancer Journal on TheIncidentalEconomist.com, a health services research blog I had the privilege of writing for. I am grateful to Austin Frakt, Aaron Carroll, and Adrianna MacIntyre for publishing me on their superb blog.
You can find links to my writing for Christian magazines at Cancer and Grace, my author's website.
If cancer afflicts someone in your life, please let them know about I Have Serious News. Thank you.
“I have serious news.” My day and night in the Emergency Department on July 2nd and 3rd, 2020, when I was first diagnosed with cancer.
In The Elector’s School. My diagnosis, from another perspective. Published in Mockingbird Magazine.
Playing for real money. In which I meet my tumour. I explain what kind of cancer I have, what likely caused it, and why having everyone vaccinated against the human papillomavirus matters, even for men.
Treating cancer — So many decisions. There are difficult choices for treating cancer. Here’s how I made them.
Not-so-shared cancer decision-making. How should treatment work when you can’t communicate with the Cancer Centre?
Radiation Therapy for Cancer — What’s It Like? For one thing, they put you into a machine. Wearing a mask.
Radiation therapy for cancer: Two weeks left. On what it’s like to be a cook who loses the ability to taste.
Radiation therapy for cancer: DONE I’m through. With a health intervention from my dog.
Fighting Cancer and Fighting COVID-19. Why I don’t ‘fight’ cancer.
Hallway Medicine. I travel by ambulance to an Emergency Department and get treated in the hallway. Why does that happen in Ontario?
“So, how do you feel about having cancer during COVID?” The emotional cost of cancer.
WTF, I have a lung tumour? I get to read my CT scan results online before my doctor sees them.
What is health? What ‘health’ means is unclear, but you need to clarify it to make a good decision about your care.
The PET Scan. I have another test to check whether radiation killed my tumour. And it suggests that the tumour is still there.
SHATTERED. I got the results of a biopsy. My cancer is back, and my prognosis is terrible.
Death by Referral. When my doctor offered to help me end my life. From Comment Magazine.
Hard Conversations and Deep Attention. How do you have a conversation about dying?
Immunotherapy. My search for a new treatment strategy.
Citizenship in the Kingdom of Malady. Cancer is a personally transformative experience.
The Combined Positive Score. Finally, some good news: I might be the kind of person for whom immunotherapy works.
The Sad Thing About Good News. On cancer and depression.
A Soldier of the Great War. Why I’m not fighting against cancer.
Thanksgiving. A long road trip, searching for treatment.
To Hope or Not to Hope. In the liminal world between life and death.
Not to Hope. I am on leave from death and grateful for it.
Why does anyone get cancer? For Holy Thursday.
Trust and Care in Medicine. Some doctors and nurses are superb at their jobs.
Suffering and Joy. Trying to live like the lily of the field or the bird of the air.
On being a patient and becoming dependent. Being a patient is challenging, and becoming more grateful for my care has been lifesaving. And another post on care and dependence here: Why Is It Hard to Receive Care?
Seeing My Tumour. Yikes!
Christmas Blues. Many of us are vulnerable to depression during the holidays.
Thinking, Or Not, About My Death. Like everyone else, I can’t imagine what it will be like.
Exemplary Lives: Rob Gardner. My brother is my hero.
When Should a Doctor Speak to a Patient About Medical Assistance in Dying? You can’t discuss a topic this difficult while simultaneously delivering catastrophic medical news. Patients cannot manage the resulting emotions.
Disaster. The tumour causes two arteries in my mouth to hemorrhage, and it almost kills me.
Recovery. On physical and spiritual recovering.
I can imagine that from a scientist's perspective, many such things - a cancer diagnosis included - would take a very different cast.
The social realities of COVID were quite a surprise. How naïve the ending of Contagion now seems when, at the time, it seemed to be the most plausible part of the movie.
What an amazing journey, Bill, thanks for sharing this.
I had a good giggle at this line "the President can tweet as aggressively as he wants, the coronavirus won’t be reading it" ... because it’s funny, and also remembering that time.
I am left pondering whether this journey would’ve been better or worse for me if I had scientific insight. It’s interesting to read the writing of somebody who understands the science and probabilities, which I do not.