Thank you so much for this information! I'd also like to know is it ok to ask questions about what the cancer patient is going through. I know someone with cancer and when I see him I ask about what he's going through. However, I have another friend who says I shouldn't bring his illness up unless he does first. I'd love your take!
Thanks, Bill, for reminding us that illness needn't completely alter the nature of friendships. I've (We've?) reached that stage of life where illness, and especially cancer, is always present in some of my relationships. Your point brings to mind a conversation I had with a good friend with experienced a significant, ongoing disability. She chaffed at being called "disabled," saying "look, we are almost all temporarily abled and will almost all eventually experience disability. So let's interact as friends and not let such things define our relationship."
I have no burdens to share other than my angst over facing 24 hours of travel to Thailand in a few days. Thanks for sharing your feelings. I miss hearing from you.
You're welcome, Brian. Your anecdote about your friend is entirely on point. I don't just miss hearing from you: I'd love to be talking on a California beach, rather than typing in an Ontario January.
Oh, this is incredibly powerful! Thank you! I've always worked so hard and taught others to keep their own stories OUT OF IT because that quickly becomes 'about them' rather than 'about you'. But you frame it differently and that feels good. Thank you! This is very helpful.
Wishing you all comfort and all love as you ponder and share this most-unwelcome experience.
Dear Bill, this post is, in its quiet way, stupendous. You are growing.
Thank you so much for this information! I'd also like to know is it ok to ask questions about what the cancer patient is going through. I know someone with cancer and when I see him I ask about what he's going through. However, I have another friend who says I shouldn't bring his illness up unless he does first. I'd love your take!
Liz, I'm sorry to hear that you have two friends who are ill.
My take is that you should follow the directions of each of your friends. You are there for them, which is great.
Thanks, Bill, for reminding us that illness needn't completely alter the nature of friendships. I've (We've?) reached that stage of life where illness, and especially cancer, is always present in some of my relationships. Your point brings to mind a conversation I had with a good friend with experienced a significant, ongoing disability. She chaffed at being called "disabled," saying "look, we are almost all temporarily abled and will almost all eventually experience disability. So let's interact as friends and not let such things define our relationship."
I have no burdens to share other than my angst over facing 24 hours of travel to Thailand in a few days. Thanks for sharing your feelings. I miss hearing from you.
You're welcome, Brian. Your anecdote about your friend is entirely on point. I don't just miss hearing from you: I'd love to be talking on a California beach, rather than typing in an Ontario January.
Oh, this is incredibly powerful! Thank you! I've always worked so hard and taught others to keep their own stories OUT OF IT because that quickly becomes 'about them' rather than 'about you'. But you frame it differently and that feels good. Thank you! This is very helpful.
Wishing you all comfort and all love as you ponder and share this most-unwelcome experience.
Thanks, Cari. It's wise to remind people that it's not about you. I'm trying to say, though, that it can also be about you, if you do it right.