Yesterday, I received a letter from the Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA), our counterpart of America’s Internal Revenue Service. It began:
We regularly review returns after sending out the notice of assessment. These reviews are an important part of the self-assessment tax system. We want to confirm we assessed your return correctly, so we need more information about the claim(s) shown below…
The CRA is auditing me. The letter demanded documentation for the charitable gifts I listed on my 2022 Canadian tax return
First reaction: I have terminal throat cancer, and I will be spending time on this? I resented the CRA’s indifference; how could they take these hours from me? I have so few. And I know my return will withstand an audit, yet there’s a thrill of fear anytime a government gazes at you.
But a couple of hours later, I began laughing. It was a grace rising out of nowhere. Of course, I’m getting audited; it’s a natural law. At its quantum mechanical foundation, the universe is random. Nevertheless, there are two certainties. Death. And taxes.
I was so grateful for the laughter. For a moment, I just walked away from the CRA and cancer.
Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? (Matthew 6:25-27)
These words from The Sermon on the Mount are so familiar that we miss the immense freedom Jesus describes. To live like a bird in the air, in great peril, but without fear or regret.
I can’t live this way by pleading with the tax authorities for special treatment. Even if every government or boss relieved me of every obligation, that would leave me facing cancer.
I can only live without fear when, by some gift, anxiety falls away.
If this freedom finds you, expand it. Lay down your anger, too.
You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. (Mt 5:43-45)
Try this. People read these verses as a moral commandment that looks impossible. Instead, view them as a spiritual exercise. A Zen koan to work on, if you know what that is.
Begin by thinking about someone who has treated you cruelly and unjustly. Someone who exploited power to abuse you and is wholly unrepentant. Or someone—let’s assume it’s a man—who mistreated someone you love. Someone you have reason to hate.
Whatever prayer means to you, pray for your enemy’s well-being.
The verses are not asking you to excuse his conduct. They’re not asking you to forgive the injuries your enemy caused. That’s discussed elsewhere in Matthew’s Gospel (Mt 6:14-15). Don’t try to convince yourself that you should not judge him. Sometimes, you should and must judge; by the way, you already have.
The instruction is to pray, honestly and sincerely, that good comes to your enemy. First, consider what would be good for him. You don’t have to pray that he will be happy; that might not be good for him. Your enemy needs to cure the disorder in his character that led him to cause harm. Pray for that.
I doubt your prayer will change your enemy. But if you can pray for him wholeheartedly, it may change you.
Social evolution has wired us for retribution; anger is the current in those wires. Imagine being free of the desire to punish. As if a switch flipped, the hot light of anger went dark, and the inner voice that rehearses your furious words fell silent.
This opens space within you. Imagine that what flows through your heart is joy, joy in your enemy’s well-being.
Wonderful piece, Bill. All I could add is that the most challenging retribution is that which we level at ourselves. It's often unrecognized, maybe posing as depression, which someone referred to as "anger without the enthusiasm." Forgiving yourself may be even harder than forgiving your enemy. Like you said, if they're your enemy, you've already made the judgement. The invisible judgements against yourself may be the biggest barrier to the freedom you describe, entering the kingdom of heaven within.
Bill, hands down, best illustrated essay on death and taxes I've ever read! Enjoyed so much, thanks!
Praying for world peace,
Chris